The Art of Interpersonal Communication to Build Connection and Influence
Never does a week go by that Mike and I aren't asked by a leader about how to communicate something to someone else.
So I will give them advice and model for them what to say, and often, when I finish, I will hear them say, "I should have been recording that!"
Whether it's navigating a difficult conversation with a team member, motivating someone who’s lost their spark, or delivering news about a significant organizational change, leaders are constantly seeking ways to improve their communication.
And for good reason—interpersonal communication is at the heart of effective leadership. It’s essential for building relationships, boosting productivity, and avoiding costly miscommunication or mistakes that take time (and sometimes money) to correct.
Yet, mastering it is not easy. It requires intention, effort, and skill.
Let’s explore why this matters so much and how you can refine your communication style to become a more impactful leader.
Why Interpersonal Communication is Crucial for Leadership
At its core, interpersonal communication is about connection. It’s the tool you can use to build trust, resolve conflicts, and inspire teams to achieve shared goals.
For leaders, the quality of your communication directly impacts not just your own agenda but the overall success of your team - which is a better measure of your own success.
When communication falters, the effects ripple outward: relationships erode, productivity plummets, and misunderstandings abound.
On the other hand, when you prioritize effective communication, you lay the foundation for stronger relationships and higher levels of engagement.
But there's a catch:
Good communication doesn’t happen by accident.
In today’s fast-paced, distracted world, we often fall short.
We shut people out too quickly.
We listen half-heartedly.
We fail to see the individual across from us as a person of worth, shaped by experiences we may never fully understand.
This disconnect is why we as leaders must commit to mastering the art of communication. It’s not just about what we say—it’s about how we engage, connect, and collaborate.
And it starts with self-awareness.
Building Your Communication Toolkit
Improving your interpersonal communication isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress. The time you invest in developing and honing these skills will pay dividends in your relationships and your leadership influence.
Here are four foundational strategies to get started:
1. Know Your Own Communication Style
- Self-awareness is half the battle.
- Take a moment to reflect on your default communication tendencies.
- Are you typically direct and to the point? More reserved and reflective? Somewhere in between?
Understanding your natural style helps you identify areas for growth and equips you to adapt your approach to different contexts and individuals. It will help you in a difficult conversation to gauge and moderate your approach for maximum effectiveness.
Remember, flexibility is key—what works in one scenario may not in another.
(This is where the 5 Voices system can help tremendously - with knowing your style of communication and with the next point - recognizing the style of others.
You can take the free assessment on our 5 Voices page to learn your foundational Voice, and to read about how the Program can help you and your entire team.)
2. Recognize the Style of Others
- Just as you have a unique communication style, so does everyone else.
- Pay attention to how the person you’re speaking with engages in conversation.
- Are they fast-paced or deliberate?
- Detail-oriented or big-picture-focused?
By noticing and respecting their style, you can tailor your delivery to ensure your message is not just heard but truly understood. That's what you want anyway - to be understood with clarity.
This adaptability is what separates good communicators from great ones.
3. Practice Empathy and Active Listening
- True listening is a lost art in today’s world, but it’s one of the most powerful tools in your communication arsenal.
- Active listening involves more than just hearing words.
- It’s about engaging fully with the other person.
- Make eye contact, ask clarifying questions, and resist the urge to interrupt.
Empathy allows you to see the situation from their perspective. People can sense when you are seeking to understand their perspective. It is crucial to fostering mutual understanding and respect.
4. Create Space for Meaningful Dialogue
- Effective communication is a two-way street.
- It’s not about dominating the conversation or rushing to offer solutions (which is so easy for many of us to do).
- Instead, prioritize creating space for the other person to share their thoughts, feelings, and ideas.
This intentionality builds trust and signals that you value their input. Over time, these small gestures lead to deeper connections and more productive relationships.
With better connections and relationships, it can become easier to say the difficult things because there is a foundation of trust that has been built.
When the other person knows that you are for them and fighting for their good, they are much more likely to accept your challenges to them.
The Long-Term Benefits of Great Communication
The rewards of improving your interpersonal communication go far beyond some immediate need. Leaders who prioritize these skills experience stronger team dynamics, reduced conflict, and increased trust.
But the impact doesn’t stop at work—it spills over into your personal relationships, enhancing your ability to connect with family and friends.
I know this firsthand because in a previous career, I often did pre-marital counseling (and some marriage coaching). Invariably, my conversations with couples would come back to communication as the key to a great relationship.
Communication is the one foundational element for making personal relationships work.
As you grow in self-awareness, empathy, and adaptability, you’ll notice how these shifts transform your interactions. You'll start to get feedback from the people around you - sometimes verbal, often non-verbal. You'll start to experience better engagement from those you interact with.
The small adjustments you make today will pay off for years to come.
In Leadership—and Life—Communication is Everything
Interpersonal communication is the bridge between intentions and actions. It’s the foundation of every productive relationship and the catalyst for achieving your goals.
Yet true connection requires us to step back, examine our tendencies, and commit to intentional change.
If you want to see your relationships and your influence go to new levels, take the time to improve how you communicate. Be willing to adapt, to listen deeply, and to engage meaningfully.
The effort will pay dividends in both your professional and personal life.
Start small. Start today. The impact will be profound.
Micah Ray
